you suck ANXIETY

Anxiety: a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

You suck ANXIETY! You know what I wish? I wish I didn’t suffer from anxiety. For those of you that have suffered from it, you get it, you understand. Those of you who haven’t, be thankful. About three-years ago is when I started to notice that something wasn’t right. Someone could say something to me that wasn’t even directed at me, and immediately I would be offended and hurt. My heart rate sky rockets, my blood starts boiling, tears starts running down my cheeks because I’m angry and upset. Once this happens, I begin to act irrationally, and there is no way in hell I’m listening to anybody. It can last an hour, a couple days, or even weeks.

I began reading books, writing in a journal, and listening to podcasts. I wanted to figure out how I could stop this from happening. After taking the time to do these things, I finally figured out that there were certain things that would ‘trigger’ my anxiety. If you know what will set you off, the best thing to do is to stay away from it, right? Well, for most of us this is impossible to avoid, depending on what your trigger is.

I personally had a family member that would trigger me, and just the thought of being around this person would make my heart rate rise. Now, it was not always like that, and it is not like this today. I can actually say we have a great relationship, which is huge. What I did was took time to understand her; I put myself in her shoes, listened to her, and did things for her. It made me feel better about myself when I did this. Also, I quit creating chaos in my head before chaos even happened. This is key! There was several times where I would assume something would happen and immediately get pissed off.

After several months of doing this, I quit having anxiety at the thought of being around her, and I was able to enjoy those family events again. I learned that she too was struggling with the same mental illness I was – crazy, right? I learned that we cannot avoid what triggers us because then you will never learn how to cope with it. What we have to do is train ourselves to control our emotions better. Remember that we are human, we are not perfect, so from time to time we will still have those occasional anxiety attacks – I still do!